Friday, November 30, 2012

'Sounds like my kind of gal, lemme know when you're done with her, huh?' - Movie Madams I've Actually Fallen For...

It's understandable when you watch a piece of fiction and understand, 'okay, yea this is fiction...'. I do it all the time, it's why I have yet to cry during a movie. But the works sometimes have to fight to make you feel for a character. Sometimes their efforts are a bit too effective.
They make you actually dig the character. Sometimes, the dames go for Edward Cullen.
... Why the fuck do they go for Edward Cullen?!
And it's not an 'attractive to their body or face' thing. It's a 'this character actually makes me romantically attracted to her' thing. It's silly, and it's usually reserved from many people, but hell, I ain't afraid to admit it. Everybody can have their movie fantasy on. Of course, the idea is that it's solely escapism for a moment and not reality. It's a great thing about this being the visual medium because it means there needs to be something that catches our visual fascination and so it goes to attract us more and more to the medium.
It also helps in appreciation of the writing of the character, the development of who the character becomes, something we have a larger and larger admiration for by the end of the show.

Hell, a lot of people love characters with quirks. The quirkier, the better. Ain't never gonna have enough quirk. Wes Anderson and the Coen Brothers are in good company.

If your show's hero is a sociopath or has a fez, you're in the clear forever.
Myself, I think most things that attract me in a female character is something that grounds me down to reality, reminds me of the life around me, so I can find more value once I'm out of the projected trance to go and dig deeper into the people around me for these factors that keep me sticking around with them.
These female characters, in a healthy manner, encourage this appreciation.
It's strange, yea, I know. But it's there.

So, I've noted the main women from TV series or movie that actually do have qualities in their character that, in one way or another, have made me sort of think 'hey, if this chick existed... I'd so take a shot!'

Veronica Mars (Kirsten Bell) 
Veronica Mars (Developed by Rob Thomas, 2004-2007)

Ah, why can't girls like Veronica Mars exist in real life? This is what happens everytime I see the show (which is frequent, it's a favorite of mine). I have to lament such a clearly made-up fantasy. Not that there aren't girls in real life who aren't witty, courageous, quick on their feet, into photography and have an attitude when they need it.
It's that they can't be Veronica Mars while doing it. She has something in her invention as a character that mixes the qualities so well. It's all the makings of the hard-boiled protagonist, packaged inside this completely adorable blonde. And of course we can't have a Phillip Marlowe in real life (I found the hard way). So if you're gonna dangle him to us, let's dangle with Kristen Bell of all people.
Who looks good almost all the time.
Looks definitely factor for me too.

Cha Yeong-mi (Bae Doona) 
Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance (Directed by Park Chan-wook, 2002)

This chick's anarchy stuff... is actually tolerable. Maybe it's because all the anarchists I personally know are guys and don't shut up about it, but her insanity... kind of turns me on.
Huh. 'Course she does help kidnap a child. That's sort of a turn off.

Speaking of rebellious figures against authority...

Natalie Portman 
Saturday Night Live - Season 31, Episode 13 (Directed by Beth McCarthy-Miller, 2005)

Well, I doubt the real Natalie Portman is like this and that's really depressing...
The idea of a girl as pretty as Natalie Portman having a persona that is a cross between Hesher and Lawrence Tierney and Henry Rollins with extra bourbon, hinted with the possibility of turning it into a Varg Vikernes situation at any moment, really really really really is attractive to me. It's like, hey, I know what I'm getting into, but at least the girl is hot.
This rap makes me feel how the 14-year-old girls feel when their favorite boy band goes on the stage.

Lisa Fremont (Grace Kelly) 
Rear Window (Directed by Alfred Hitchcock, 1954)

I don't think I should need to explain, but just look at her. She's just perfect. She's brainy, she's outgoing. She herself looks like She kind of is too perfect, as Jeff states early in the film; like if you had her, you'd feel you don't deserve her. I mean, really most guys probably feel that way when they're with the one they love, but it's best represented here through Lisa.
I think the part that really brings her to my admiration is when she argues for staying with Jeff and she keep interrupting him and while he tries to shove his explanation in to the point where he has to shout 'shut up', she responds with 'Well, if your opinion is as rude as your manner, I'd rather not hear it.'
That's dames for ya, and we take it.
It's even better when the argument ends with her attempting to leave Jeff's life and when he realizes he hurt her feelings and asks when he'll see her again, she responds 'Not for a long time, at least, not until tomorrow night...'
I guess the real attraction to such a character is how realistic her relationship is with Jeff in my perspective and how Rear Window's dialogue and acting on Stewart and Kelly's part makes it seem extremely relatable.

Michelle Burroughs (Milla Jovovich) 
Dazed and Confused (Directed by Richard Linklater, 1993)

One smooth hippie chick. She doesn't really say much. And she's basically high most of her screentime. But, man, she's a sight. That and the fact that she is so chill and lax means little drama, probably. Whoot!

Molly Ringwald's character in any of her 1980s collaborations with John Hughes 
(Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink, The Breakfast Club)

(Play 'Molly (Sixteen Candles)' by Sponge for full effect.)

This is a huge given and I'm certain I am not the only person in the world who totally feels this way. But the point of Molly Ringwald is that she was THE chick in high school. So, every guy wanted her character the moment she showed up and it was something that worked - a legendary teenage mythology of that one girl who is the center of your attention because she's just such an anomaly among the rest of the blonde beauties or the cheerleaders. She is the lesser-known adolescent equivalent of Rita Hayworth, Marilyn Monroe, all those classic chicks who'd show their face and all the soldiers would  have their pine-up the next day.
Well, the high school life is definitely a war (more literal if you went to mine - it was kind of like Yojimbo/Red Harvest there and I'm sure mine wasn't the only high school). And I'm certain every guy in the high school back in the day of John Hughes had some kind of picture of Molly in Pretty in Pink in their locker, maybe even if they had a girlfriend.
Perhaps the chick from Weird Science for some of the jocks. Carrie, if they were real psychos. Carrie's mom if they really really were real psychos.

Just for a little middle-school and elementary school bonus:
Little kid STinG really had a fondness for Topanga from the show Boy Meets World and Kimberly, the Pink Ranger from Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. I know, right? If you ask me, I still don't know why. It was kind of crazy. Out of all the little shows I watched as a child, I was attracted instead to these characters. I'm still not getting why it wasn't Buffy, then.

I'm not gonna post pictures because I know you'd laugh at me.

Know what, fuck you. This ain't funny anymore.

Anybody got those movie crushes to a character they wanna share? 
Please, by all means, allow me to laugh at you on the comments section.
And sheckin' out the facebook page to keep up with posts 
and make silly conversations about movies that aren't important enough for a post.

Cinema: The Great Celluloid Fantasy...

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